Why My Daughter Cannot Go to School

Madison attended public school for Kinder and First Grade. She was miserable. For both grades. I see pictures pop up on my newsfeed for the Facebook memories and during that time she is always sleeping. She was exhausted. I would even go as far as to say she was depressed. 

Was that the school’s fault? The teacher’s fault? I want to say partially. But in reality, I understand their job is to teach to all students, not just one. There is probably no way they could have effectively accommodated Madison. Do I wish they had tried? Absolutely. Was it a blessing they didn’t? In hindsight, yes. 

I never thought I’d be homeschooling Madison for her elementary, middle school or high school years. She begged me to. And I will be the first to raise my hand and say the job of doing so is hard. Not only hard, but life consuming. 

Life consuming, but worth every minute. 

Do I wish I could open up a boxed curriculum and have a set schedule? Yes, every day. But I have accepted the fact that I cannot. I have accepted the fact that I will always be tired and always will be figuring out how to keep up with Madison. 

I have also come to terms that very few will understand. We can only relate to what we know. If I am looked down upon for that, I am fine with it. If I wasn’t homeschooling a special needs child then I would have more time. But I don’t. And in the end all that matters is that my child is healthy and her needs are met. 

There is a scale. And that scale determines if a child is special needs. And that determination is based on each end of the spectrum. Each end. Especially the very ends. 

So no, my child would not thrive in a school setting. Maybe she would in a setting designed for children like her and there are those settings, but it’s not in the cards for us right now financially and it isn’t a part of her plan. The plan I try to keep up with to help her achieve. I pray each evening that I can do that. 

She makes jumps that I cannot explain. She marches to her own beat at her own pace and it’s not a pace a school could accommodate. She would only be held back and frustrated. 

Madison told me the other day that being gifted is like being in jail. You are locked up and are waiting for someone to save you. Someone she can connect with. Not a parent. She feels she cannot be herself around others. And honestly, she’s right. No one her age wants to have deep, intellectual conversations about history. And why would they? 

So while others are planning fun outings and craft projects, I am trying to figure out ways my child can make the connections she needs. And I am not sure they even exist. 

Gifted children have different things that they are very interested in. Most are interested in science or math. Madison loves History. She wants to find someone to talk about history. She wants to find someone who shares the same depth of feeling about things that she does. 

I wish there was a manual. There isn’t though, so I am trying to do the best I can. 

Wish me luck. 

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5 thoughts on “Why My Daughter Cannot Go to School

  1. Are you familiar with the Junior Historian program at Dallas Heritage Village? That popped in my mind when I read that she is so interested in history. An old friend of mine, Melissa Prycer, is the director there these days.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Teresa,

    You’ve been blessed with a very special daughter! The school system probably doesn’t even deserve children such as yours. They want to fit them all in one-sized boxes, and some children SHOULDN’T be trying to fit, because their uniqueness is a gift to the world.

    What’s your daughter’s current age? From your post, I gather that she’s still very young. And she’s fascinated by history? WOW! I don’t know many ADULTS who are that interested in history! Many are just too superficial to have that childlike curiosity about anything. Many don’t even care about continuous improvement in their own careers. So you have a jewel in your home! And you get to spend a lot of time with her, which must be yes, life-consuming, but also fascinating. Enjoy her! Marvel at the questions she asks! Learn from her!

    I have a seven-year-old rambunctious, messy but highly intelligent boy who is currently mostly interested in soccer but can also be very insightful in his questions. So far, he seems to be doing pretty well (better than we thought he would) in the Argentine school system, but you never know what the future might bring. Homeschooling unfortunately is not legal in my country, otherwise, I would have loved to be a homeschooling mummy.

    All my best wishes for you and your beloved treasure, from Buenos Aires. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There are so many resources for you out there! Local homeschooling groups may have loads to share locally. Going to one of their yearly fairs is a great way to start. Have you found Hoagiesgifted.org or SENG.org online? Super places for parents of highly gifted. Don’t forget to look for history in your area–so much of “homeschool” does not have to be at home. Bringing your daughter to museums, universities, cultural fairs, historical sites and towns can be fun and a great learning experience. Not being tied to “school hours” allows you to take trips to see historical places. History is everywhere!

    As she grows don’t feel like you have to do it all. There are plenty of ways for her to be a homeschooler and have other teachers as well. There are wonderful free online resources like Khan Academy which offers short videos on an entire K-12 education and more. Also check out your local colleges or universities for early entrance programs. They can be hard to find–but they exist and many are very inexpensive.

    Connect her with other gifted children too–gifted need to see they are not the only ones and have someone they can relate to. There are loads of children very much like her.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. They aren’t all into science/math. For the longest time, mine was into water towers. From about ages 2-6. Now it’s math, science, and astronomy. But, he had a 2nd grade teacher who made social studies very interesting for him. I’m sure there are other kids out there. Just a matter of finding them.

    Liked by 1 person

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